We're dying & we're DIY'ing It

This is me spilling the world’s tea, but also starting to use stock images on these things.

Hey I can’t help, but send the Yoko Ono message in the room and it might be that I’ve binged on footage of her during some of the most transformational times of my life (a robbery that brought me to LA + now this pandemic), but it’s okay. We’re having to be in harmony with the reality that we’re dying and we’re DIY’ing.

Everything we do is made from scratch. Everything we do is made of life. Everything we are is made of life. Sometimes we forget that and we get into this pattern of living and not living and dying and not being okay with that. It’s definitely my menstrual cycle talking & I’m going through it for real.

I’m really through with it and fed up with myself and my excuses, but also the world’s. Today I just had it. I know that there’s a lot happening with the planets and stars always. I know there are cosmic shifts happening right now, but in the 3D realm we are DOING IT and DIY’ing IT!

No one is really showing us the ropes. We just gotta do it our way. I noticed in my last post that I hadn’t posted for a year. And my only post of 2021 was in celebration of my spirit sibling. It was definitely another shadow year for me (it’s like every other at this point - odd years are just not for me I guess). I don’t want my lasting written impression to be about how I was taken advantage of by desperate scammers. The reality is I’m just as vulnerable as the next person no matter how smart or clever or whatever else I’ve tried to be in life.

I’m not one to put lessons, discipline, and awareness aside, especially after everything I’ve been through in life. I have so many draft blog posts that I’m writing just to get it perfectly presented for free here in a life that may or may. not matter at the end of it all. I know my life counts and all that, but I’m just saying - climate change is real and we might all perish in an unexpected manmade disaster and it’s okay. But in this case, I’m motivated to write and create more. If these are the last of our days, I’m going into overdrive to archive what is necessary & release what isn’t.

We have to come to terms with that. I’m not trying to be bleak here. My mother is a death doula as a caregiver in America and to a few Holocaust survivors at that, so my perspective on death and dying has been skewed in some ways. I am the type to grieve deeply and for a long time. It’s just that I feel like I’m processing my pandemic/COVID/Capitalism/America fatigue out loud. And I can’t go on as if things are “normal” because we all know they’re not and they’ve never been. The debt we constantly feel is NOT normal.

This whole time I thought I was offering services through my work, but in reality, we are exchanging. I am benefitting equally from every exchange as those around me. Even this post is an emotional echo of what needs tending in me as much as it’s wanting to offer guidance and support to others.

On a related and on-brand tangent, opening up my space, SHHAA Sanctuary, is a pretty big deal, but it feels extra special because these times are so wild and this was a very bold move on my part. I opened my office up this year, this month, this pandemic, and I’m grateful. I am definitely earning my life’s worth and keep, but it’s also really creating a space for me to breathe and be authentically me - merging a lot of the worlds, practices, and lives I lead into one.

& maybe that is also the struggle of humanity right now - a denial of our oneness, which is why we are failing on so many fronts right now with our inability to make peace and distribute resources fairly and justly. We can’t accept that we are all one and all deserving and worthy.

I have so much faith that we are shifting, but some days get to me as I’m challenged to shift and grow on my own. I guess nothing worth it is done without pressure. Pressure brings life.

May you survive under the pressures of the world.

With love & tenderness,

soul